Every Mother’s Journey Is Unique
Imagine preparing for your baby’s arrival, picturing those first quiet moments together, and looking forward to your first breastfeeding session. Then, unexpectedly, your baby arrives early. Instead of settling into a familiar feeding routine, you may find yourself navigating a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), learning how to use a breast pump, and waiting for the moment you can finally hold your little one close.
For mothers of a premature newborn, breastfeeding can look very different from what they imagined. And alongside the practical challenges, there can be a whole mix of emotions: love, worry, frustration, guilt, hope, and sometimes exhaustion. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. More importantly, your breastfeeding journey doesn’t have to look perfect to be meaningful.
What Does Research Say About Mothers’ Experiences?
A 2026 systematic review and meta-synthesis published in BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth explored the breastfeeding experiences of mothers with premature infants during their babies’ hospital stays. The researchers brought together findings from previous qualitative studies to better understand how mothers experience breastfeeding and managing their own breast milk while their babies receive neonatal care.
According to the review, researchers analyzed findings from 44 qualitative studies, with much of the research coming from the United States, Brazil, and China. While the findings offer valuable insights, mothers’ experiences may differ depending on their healthcare systems, cultural backgrounds, and individual circumstances.
The researchers identified four overarching themes: (1) To Be Thrown to an Unexpected Reality, (2) From Objectification to Agency: Transforming the Role of Milk Expression, (3) From Disempowerment to Meaning-Making: Emotional Recalibration in the NICU, and (4) Building Maternal Identity Through Connection in Shared Spaces of Care.
Here are some of the most interesting insights from those themes.
1. Breastfeeding Is About More Than Nutrition
According to the review, mothers often saw providing breast milk as an important way to participate in their baby’s care. When direct breastfeeding wasn’t possible, expressing milk offered another way to feel involved and connected.
For some mothers, this brought a sense of purpose and reassurance. For others, the experience was emotionally complicated, particularly when they were separated from their babies or struggling to express enough milk.
It highlights something important: breastfeeding can carry emotional meaning beyond feeding itself.
2. Expressing Milk Can Be Rewarding and Exhausting
Using a breast pump can become a significant part of daily life when a premature newborn is receiving NICU care. For many mothers, expressing milk brings physical demands and emotional pressure surrounding milk production.
Some mothers found motivation in knowing their milk was contributing to their baby’s care. Others experienced frustration, uncertainty, and disappointment when expressing didn’t go as expected.
It’s a reminder that mothers need encouragement and practical support, not additional pressure to meet unrealistic expectations.
3. Support Systems Can Make a Difference
Another important finding was the role of external support systems. According to the review, healthcare professionals, family members, and wider support networks could either make breastfeeding and milk management easier or create additional barriers.
Mothers’ experiences highlighted the importance of feeling listened to, receiving clear information, and being included in feeding decisions. These forms of support can contribute to a greater sense of confidence and involvement.
4. Mothers Need to Feel Involved in Their Baby’s Care
For mothers of premature newborns, the NICU environment can change how they experience their role as a parent. The review highlights how opportunities to participate in feeding, connect with their babies, and collaborate with healthcare professionals can contribute to their developing sense of maternal identity.
When a premature newborn requires specialized care, feeding may involve expressing milk, tube feeding, or other approaches before direct breastfeeding becomes possible.
Even when specialized medical care is necessary, mothers can remain important participants in their baby’s care.
Building Connection When Direct Breastfeeding Isn’t Possible
One of the biggest worries mothers may have is whether they’ll bond with their baby if they cannot breastfeed straight away. However, bonding doesn’t depend on one particular feeding method.
When medically appropriate and approved by the neonatal team, skin-to-skin contact can offer a special opportunity to connect. Even small moments, such as gently touching your baby, talking to them, or participating in routine care, can help you feel involved. Expressing milk can also be a meaningful part of your baby’s care, even if feeding currently happens through a tube or another method.
Remember, some premature newborns need fortified human milk, donor milk, or other medically indicated feeding approaches. These decisions should always be guided by your baby’s neonatal care team.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Journey Alone
The emotional side of breastfeeding deserves just as much attention as the practical side. A lactation consultant can help you understand milk expression, pumping routines, and the transition toward direct breastfeeding when appropriate.
If you’re unsure where to begin, consider asking your neonatal team how often to express milk, what support is available for milk production, and when your baby might be ready to practice breastfeeding directly.
NICU professionals can explain feeding decisions, involve you in your baby’s care, and help you understand what to expect. Family members can offer practical support, whether that’s helping with meals, managing household tasks, or simply listening when you need to talk.
Every mother’s breastfeeding journey is different, especially when a baby arrives earlier than expected. Whether you’re expressing milk, preparing for your first breastfeeding session, or navigating an unexpected feeding plan, your involvement and connection with your baby matter.
With the right information, compassionate support, and individualized care, you don’t have to navigate this experience alone.
Research Reference
Moshtagh, M., Sharafi, S., Alinejad Mofrad, S., & Mirlashari, J. (2026). Human milk feeding, milk expression, and breastfeeding experiences among mothers of preterm infants: A systematic review and meta-synthesis. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-026-10111-6
